Okay, so I tried to set the house on fire.

Not on purpose, mind you, but that was the net effect. I wanted to get some stamping done and I was still hungry, so I put a piece of pizza in the microwave. Ten seconds turned into ten minutes when the zero tripled. I caught it with 3.5 minutes to go.

We're sitting here surrounded by smoke, fans a-going. The microwave is outside. The charred remains of the pizza have been disposed of.

I, simply, am an idiot.